I don’t know about you, but my spirit guide is a drag queen in leopard print & pink bunny ears. (I’ll explain, stay tuned)
If you’re in my immediate circle you know I “joke” about having an existential crisis pretty much… weekly. When one of your mottoes is “question everything” this will happen.
After thrashing at the idea a bit, I am settling into my latest, and sketchiest, realization.
I have no desire (right now) to be an entrepreneur.
Zip. Zero. Nada. Nope.
It hit me like a truck that I was pursuing entrepreneurial endeavors because I felt like I needed to. The “passive income” that everyone seems to be chasing right now and the glamourized notion of entrepreneurial pursuits got to me.
Except, I don’t care about passive income. I genuinely enjoy working and love trading my time for money. I was doing what I thought was right, not what was actually right for me.
I quit my comfortable, well-paid corporate gig just over a year ago because the only path for growth was through management. So, why exactly did I think it was a good idea to create a management role for myself in a company of my own? [face. palm]
At first, I thought it was the resistance scaring me away from a good idea. It became clear that I just fell prey to this notion prevalent in the business world that being an entrepreneur is somehow better than being a freelancer.
News flash y’all. IT IS NOT.
There is honor and glory in both (if you’re into that honor glory stuff). You can create beautiful work as a freelancer or an entrepreneur and neither is “better” or “cooler” than the other.
The most important thing is that you are doing work that matters TO YOU. Who cares what Tim Ferris thinks. He can judo chop his passive income all the way to the bank, I’ll be over here hanging out with my cats and writing on my own terms thanks.
I enjoy writing, genuinely love it. I adore connecting one on one with clients to tell their stories, I have a ball working with people to find the perfect tagline or a caption that makes their business shine.
I don’t have to dream up some fancy entrepreneurial pseudo-marketing agency to feel like a true boss lady. I AM a boss lady, even if I am only the boss of myself. I’m TBH really into that.
So what does this have to do with my glamorous spirit guide drag queen in her sequin leopard print shift dress and pink bunny ears? (told you I’d get there)
This revelation finally hit home in a dream I had a week ago. It wasn’t even that interesting of a dream. I was in a sandwich shop, waited forever, and they gave me a pile of goodness knows what on a plate and asked “what is wrong with you?” when I spoke up against that travesty and asked for the sandwich I ordered.
My good friend Facisha Farce stepped into the back door of that dream-land sandwich shop and served me the fiercest look (in the aforementioned pink bunny ears). Your spirit guide might be a sacred geometry wolf, or an old white dude with a beard– mines a drag queen in pink bunny ears. To each their own.
I woke up with a brain full of understanding feeling like I had some sort of mystical experience. I needed to stand up for what I wanted. I finally “got it” that it was just fine to love being a freelancer, to stand up for doing the work that I love, and to do work that I am proud to put my name on.
I woke up empowered to be a freelancer–to set my own schedule, to choose who I work with, to answer only to myself, to market myself however TF I want.
I don’t feel less than because I am a freelancer. I don’t care that my income is very much actively earned, I prefer that. I don’t feel guilty back burner-ing my entrepreneurial ideas so I can continue to travel, work music festivals, and unplug when it feels right. In fact, I feel freaking great about it. My work, my rules.
Sometimes all we need is a glam AF drag queen to wake us up and remind us that we make our own rules with our work.
I hope that this can serve as a reminder (or a sparkly drag queen in bunny ears) for you too, to remind you to stand for what you really want. You may not know what that is today but if you keep pursuing what makes you happy, and the work that fires you up, you’ll find it. I believe in you.
On that note, I’m going to go get my damn sandwich.